THE PERIODIC FABLE
The first indication that my PMS had got out of control was when striding towards the park at lunchtime. I was desperate to get out of the office and clear my head of the enveloping ‘fug’ that had descended upon me. Fresh air and exercise – that should do it! Suddenly a gigantic sneeze erupted from me. An elderly gentleman passing at that precise moment looked at me and said, “Bless you!”. Without a moment’s thought and emerging directly from my unconscious mind without filter, I told him to “F*** off”. I still laugh at the memory of the startled look on this man’s face. Oh well, I’m sure worse things have happened to him in his life other than to have a hormonal banshee cursing him as he went about his business.
This was completely out of character and under normal circumstances I would never have been so rude to anyone. Though I do wish people didn’t feel obliged to comment on my involuntary bodily functions. Irrelevant customs and traditions have always annoyed me and saying, “Bless you!” when anyone sneezed certainly fell into this category. I can’t understand why we still say this phrase, being that it harks back to the 6th century when sneezing was recognised as a forewarning of the plague, so you were blessed in anticipation of the agony that would befall you.
I knew this low mood would clear in a few days, although those around me didn’t. Over the years to help alleviate my symptoms I had tried many different remedies. Vitamin ‘B12’ tablets were a well-known supplement taken to combat symptoms but these just gave me acne, exercise worked but was only a temporary fix. I even experimented with a light emitting device worn as a mask over the eyes for 20 minutes before sleeping. Nothing worked!
I had no choice but to embrace my PMS, eventually utilising it as an enabler. It allowed me to be more honest and direct with people and even motivated me to sort out conflicts previously avoided. Whatever the physiological hormonal impact it had on my body, I discovered that it lowered my tolerance in a way that I could harness and use as a driving force.
It even assisted in getting the ball rolling to sort out a work place grievance. As a natural people pleaser, I had swallowed the bad behaviour of my boss and her cohort for years. Then one day, a PMS day, I let rip, as that day I could, and would no longer tolerate it. I did eventually resolve the issue and left the company under a ‘compromise deal’ with a hefty sum.
Looking back, I am embarrassed that I tolerated that unpleasant situation for so long. The frequent phrase that was uttered by my persecutor, and meant as an insult, was.
“You’ve changed!”
“Yes, I have changed.” I replied. “I no longer accept the bad behaviour of others.”
To admit that the PMS was a factor in my altered behaviour would seem to lessen the reason behind it and even negate it entirely. I believe that is why women get so annoyed and frustrated when well-meaning males comment by saying.
“Is it that time of the month?”
Their understanding appears to be that you have been possessed by an evil spirit who is acting by proxy. Whereas your logic and rationale are no different to that of before, it is merely the way you are expressing yourself that has changed. To communicate in a direct way and without artifice takes a while to master but it usually achieves the best outcome. Hiding behind too many pleasantries and ambiguities dilutes your message and gives the impression that you are a ‘walk-over’.
When explaining all this to my husband he finally began to understand what PMS was like and said wryly.
“It sounds very much like being middle-aged!”
Stephanie Scala ©
Life's a Glitch 