Siblings

There’s no other relationship like siblings. The first born has no understanding of how to share their parents with anyone else. They are the one and only in their parents eyes and a fascinating creation born of their union. How displacing it must be for this child’s place in the home and hearts of their parents to be usurped by a much smaller cuter version of themselves. This helpless little bundle seemingly taking all of their parents attention and energy. Even visitors to the home spend more time and attention over this new addition to the family. Why did their parents do this to them? How could they? However, in time the advantages of being a senior little person in the family become apparent. Why take all the blame for something when it can now be shared by this innocent faced blob. You can stay up later and be the first to get to do everything. Then there’s the power, although this power is bestowed upon you long before you know how to handle it.

There’ll always be someone to play your games, as long as they follow your rules. Your name will come first on just about everything. Even when you no longer live at home you’ll always the first to be consulted and contacted. You may no longer be the only one but you’ll always be FIRST.

The younger child has never known an exclusive relationship with their parents, they are used to sharing from day one. They also have to accept being considered last in most things and the butt of jokes in the household. Desperately, desiring the advantages of the older sibling but knowing you will never be their equal as you can never be the first. It’s a steep learning curve discovering how to take responsibility as you mature never having experienced it. Even the family dog understands your lowly place in the pecking order. As you mature this transfers to the workplace and friendship groups, you automatically slot into the lower rungs.

Parents unwittingly perpetuate the situation, finding it impossible to view you as evolved from the infant they nurtured. Even though every cell in your body has since changed and your thinking could not be more detached from the child you once were, they still believe you to be the same entity. You are mentally harnessed in your carry cot for all eternity.

That unique sibling dynamic can also halt development, preventing you from evolving, constantly being reminded of the child you once were, fraught with past slights and wrongdoings. Unhappy at their life choices and partners. This judgment is reserved purely for that sibling relationship, being the one you cannot easily walk away from.

It is without doubt the most complex and misunderstood relationship you will have, shaping all future relationships and your position in the world.